Synopsis & Review by RachelGrey:
Synopsis: The Thing endures a painful ride to the airport with a taxi driver who won’t get off his cell phone. But Ben eventually makes it to his destination and prepares to enter the airport. However, Ben is stopped by representatives from the government and IRS. The man asks if Mr. Grimm is giving up his US citizenship since he’s leaving in protest to the Superhuman Registration Act. Ben annoyingly tells them no, he’s just leaving for a while. The men gravely say that could cause some problems. The Thing asks if they mean he can’t leave the country just because he spoke out against a government policy. The men clarify themselves and tell Mr. Grimm they mean he’d be put on a no-fly list, which means he’d be unable to board an aircraft for travel within the United States (not out of the country). The men then bring up Mr. Grimm’s financial state and that he’s recently come into some money. Ben tells them he cashed out a trust fund Reed had started for him. The men then say Mr. Grimm hasn’t paid income tax on that and doing it after leaving the country could lead to problems. As such, the men freeze Ben’s accounts but leave him enough money for his current needs. By that, they mean leaving Ben with the three thousand dollars he has on him in traveler’s checks. Ben’s trip doesn’t get any easier as he passes through airport security problems, riding coach after trading his first-class ticket in for some extra cash, and plane delays.

Later on, Ben finally arrives in Paris. He takes in the sights before asking for a good place to eat. An odd souvenir salesman suggests Le Rose et La Plume (The Rose and the Feather). Ben takes the man’s advice and sits for a nice meal. However, all is not as it seems, as Ben’s seat revolves and takes him to a hidden place where he finds the souvenir salesmen again. The man apologizes, takes off his disguise, and introduces himself as Adamantine, the Commander in Absentia of Les Heroes de Paris. He tells Ben their city is in trouble and they need his help. He then introduces his fellow heroes: Comte de Nuit (The Night Count), Anais, La Lumiere Bleue (The Blue Light), Le Cowboy (The Cowboy…duh), Detective Fantome (The Phantom Detective), Le Vent (The Wind), and Docteur Q. The heroes then explain the situation to Ben over lunch. It’s L’Empereur Du Monde Souterrain (The Emperor of the Underground World) and his army of rock monsters. They plan to tunnel beneath Paris and destroy it. Ben, moved by the simplicity of the mission compared to the government problems back in the US, happily agrees to help.

The heroes venture underground and fight the rock monsters. Ben asks Detective Fantome about prowling the Louvre while fighting off the monsters (This was most likely supposed to be Le Lumiere Bleue or the original description was supposed to be for Detective Fantome. It’s an editorial mistake) before spotting the tunneling machine. Le Vent launches Ben to the machine, who finds The Emperor to be a short, chubby man. Ben tells the man to stop, but The Emperor refuses, saying the city has hurt him and he’ll make sure it doesn’t again. Ben asks if this is because a girl turned him down for a date. The man sadly says it was. Ben apologizes to the man for his bad luck with the girl, and then clobbers the machine, causing the tunnel to collapse. Les Heroes de Paris are forced to escape, leaving Ben and the heartbroken Emperor. As the smoke clears, Ben emerges with the Emperor.

The heroes congratulate The Thing while the Emperor, named René, is reunited with the girl who refused him, Louise. Louise embraces René and says she got his letter that he was doing all of this because he loved her. The two then confess their love for each other. The heroes begin to cry while The Thing stands puzzled. Ben then walks away with the other heroes, telling them he thinks this the start of a great friendship.

Review: First off, we have a bunch of new heroes. Les Heroes de Paris are meant as a parody of the Justice League. So…

Know Les Heroes Des Paris:

Adamantine: The commander of the team, he is only shown to have flight, although one can guess he has super strength and invulnerability. He is a parody of Superman. His costume has slight hints to Power Girl’s in color and the cape.

Comte De Nuit (The Night Count): This guy is a Batman parody. His father was murdered by thieves. As such, he’s sworn vengeance on everyone who preys on the helpless. He is shown to have a crescent moon-shaped boomerang at one point.

Anais: This girl is a parody of Catwoman with a hint of Wonder Woman thrown in. She is an exiled Queen from a Lost Cat Civilization in the Sahara and can command all cats. She also has a whip and is very fast and agile.

La Lumiere Bleue (the Blue Light): A Green Lantern parody, this hero has energy based powers of some sort and has a Light of Truth that reveals secrets. He has an octagon in his hand that fires his blasts. He is said to prowl the Louvre museum (However, it is talked about as being Detective Fantome doing this later in the issue).

Le Cowboy: A homage to the American West, he is simply a cowboy. He has a gun. He is a parody of Vigilante.

Detective Fantome (The Phantom Detective): This ghost is a parody of The Question. He helps solve mysteries until he solves his own murder and can rest in piece. It is later referred to in this issue that he is the one who prowls the Louvre museum, although it is said La Lumiere Bleue does that.

Le Vent (The Wind): He is the fastest man in all of Europe with speeds over Mach 4. His powers are magic-based but he cannot slow down to regular speed. As such, all of his speech is slurred together. He is a Flash parody.

Docteur Q: He was once a great weapons designer and scientist who now uses his talents to fight crime. His suit of armor lets him fly with rocket boots.

Back to the Review…

But really, this issue was really bad. It has some kind of funny moments, but it really doesn’t work. Justice League parodies are a very trite comedy ploy. The heroes are uninteresting and downright silly. There’s even the big error of who exactly prowls the Louvre. While the original description says it’s the Blue Light, Ben and The Phantom Detective like it’s him who does so. Such an editorial oversight really wrecks the comedy of that scene and just makes it a mess. The villain himself is a homage to The Mole Man. But having it all because a girl turned him down on a date was kind of stupid and not that funny. The bulk of this issue is cheap jokes about airports and the French and stereotypes, which leaves almost no substance. While the stereotypes are not offensive, they really are cheap and not all that funny.

The only interesting part is in the beginning with the men from the government. Using the No-Fly List is a risky move that really complicates things since that already has significant controversy since the dramatic increase of names listed since the terrorist attacks. People who share the name of someone on the list have been pulled over and delayed or even denied flight. Several people are already suing for civil liberty breaches from its use. It does add to the whole “government is totally bad thing” though. Coupled with freezing Mr. Grimm’s accounts and it puts the government in an even more negative light. I don’t think anyone believes that Marvel is not trying to cast one side as the good side and another as the bad at this point.

McKone’s art is looking a bit better here. His parodies really are parodies. But his art is still very static. The same pluses and minuses from my previous reviews still stand here. I have warmed up to his Thing a little more though.

Really Fantastic Four has just been bad. The issues are sorely behind the quality of most of Marvel’s other books. This issue may seem funny to some, but I found most of the humor to be old, basic, and stereotypical. This issue is a definite pass. I hope Dwayne McDuffie will help take this book out of its rut when he finally takes over.