Part of the House of M X-Over
"Soul Food in the House of M"
by Reginald Hudlin & Trevor Hairsine
Synopsis: Something is causing a huge dust cloud as it moves across the deserts of Kenya. Moving in closer, we see that it’s actually Quicksilver, with a package in his arms. He soon makes it to the doors of a large, lavish castle where he is met by Queen Ororo of Kenya. He admires her beauty, but she figures that wasn’t what he came all the way there for, so he reveals that while he was in Tuscany, he thought about her in all this heat and thought she might like an ice cream cone. She thanks him, but says that she feels guilty about all the things he does for her because she can’t reciprocate his feelings. He says that the man she’s pining for isn’t worthy of her because he spends all his time with tarts, but he himself is right her loving her like no one can. She says sorry and leaves and he soon speeds away.
Back in Genosha, Magneto wonders why Pietro didn’t learn anything from him about women. Pietro counters that he never saw Magnus with his mother and that attracting women when you’re the ruler of the world doesn’t require much skill. Touché, says Magneto, but things are worse than Pietro’s broken heart. He shows his son a tape of his love from her appearance on the talk show Alison! the other day. Storm is openly questioning Magneto’s rule and feels that mutants and humans need to work together more to exist peacefully. Magneto has enough of her talk and thrusts the television set out the window. Pietro says he agrees with her but Magneto reveals that the humans of Africa could soon overtake him, and since Pietro wasn’t able to woo in an ally, he’s gonna do things his way.
In Wakanda, the Black Panther is having an argument with Storm on just how to deal with Magneto. She feels that they need to take the battle directly to Magneto, but the Panther wants to wait as the war will come soon enough; no need to rush it. Ororo soon grows frustrated and insults him for having his little harem of ladies, but he says that she’s the only woman he cares for. She’s had enough and ends their transmission. Panther now sits in his throne, saying how she reminds him of the song, “You Got Me Straight Trippin Boo”, as Sabretooth teleports into the room behind a pillar, with a gun in his hand. Before he can get off a shot, Panther shoots him straight through the chest. Sabretooth tries to be witty, saying that he could be a diplomat, but Panther doesn’t buy it, saying one doesn’t hire someone named Sabretooth for that job. What’s Magneto’s message? Sabretooth says that the message is actually for Storm, it just requires the Panther’s head. They then have a big fight, where Panther absolutely and totally owns Sabertooth by doing such things as slamming his head into the floor, before finally grabbing a sword and lopping Sabretooth’s head off!
Back in Genosha, Quicksilver and Magneto open a box to find the head. Pietro figures Panther used the teleporter they gave Sabretooth to send it, and Magnus says that things are going to get nasty.
Since things are going to get nasty, the Panther tells his virtual assembly of Sunfire, Namor, Doom, and Storm, they should stand together to avoid being picked off one by one. Doom does not take kindly to this, even snapping at Storm, saying that Doom stands alone, and he ends his transmission.
In Cairo, Egypt, Magneto approaches the man he appointed to lead that area; Apocalypse. He says that he knows the big guy has been looking to expand his rule of Africa, and now is his chance to take down the human, but just leave Ororo alone for now. Apocalypse says to consider it done. When Magnus and his son are alone, Pietro reminds him that Apocalypse plots against him, but he isn’t worried as he will eventually be dealt with, but right now he’s the perfect solution to their problem.
As Apocalypse’s ship is heading towards Wakanda, it is suddenly attacked with lightning and wind, as Storm capture it inside of a giant tornado. The ship soon crashes into the sea, and as the rest of the crew drowns, Namor rips his way into the ship and attacks Apocalypse. Out in the open sea, the big man looks like he has drowned, but is only playing possum as he has grown gills, and knocks Namor out of the water when he gets too close. As soon as he breaks the surface, Namor is frozen by one of Apocalypse’s Horsemen, the Iceman! Iceman then turns his attention to Storm, but she is just a decoy so that Sunfire can come in and melt him.
On the outskirts of the battlefield, Nightcrawler is trying to get Angel, neither of whom are additional Horsemen, into the battle, but Warren says he’s only there for PR and doesn’t want to get himself killed.
Outside of the Panther’s castle, Apocalypse is approaching and most of the troops evacuate, except for two women who happen to be in T’Challa’s harem, Shanna the She-Devil and possibly Monica Lynne, and they begin to fight each other over their jealousy. Apocalypse enters the castle without any problems, telling the Panther he’ll make it quick. But when he goes to grab him, the Panther just runs into the next room. Apocalypse starts to make with an insult as he follows, but stops dead when he sees who is waiting for him in the next room; Black Bolt! We see Black Bolt open his mouth, and next we see half the castle and country side in ruins, with Apocalypse nowhere to be seen. Panther emerges from a vibranium chest, saying that still was very loud, and thanks Black Bolt because even though it’s damaged, he still has a kingdom because of him and says he hopes it was good to finally speak, even for just a syllable.
Back in Genosha, Magneto is fuming, especially since Pietro is smiling, and swears that if he says “I told you so….” Pietro says he’s not gonna say a word.
Review: Another amazing standalone House of M issue. What New Thunderbolts did with drama in this alternate reality, Black Panther did with pure action and fun. I’d never really cared one way or another about BP, but I think this issue could make anyone an instant fan. It did with me. It was great to see several characters we haven’t seen pop up anywhere else yet, especially Black Bolt. That look Apocalypse had on his face when he first saw him was absolutely priceless. His jaw may as well have been on the floor (he could probably do it too). The action was fun, especially with Panther completely owning Sabretooth with such ease, and the big battle, while short, were fun to read. Kinda also makes me want to see a fight between Black Panther and Wolverine now.
But also like Thunderbolts, there is a rather glaring flaw in editing between the titles. Why is Nightcrawler, a member of the SHIELD Red Guard, there, when he’s supposed to be in New York pursuing Wolverine? That could maybe be explained as it should be happening before that and he’s just there to represent SHIELD for Magneto, but why is he out of uniform then? At least he was only in it for two panels, but his and Angel’s appearance were completely useless as they didn’t do anything but bicker.
The art made it even more fun. I’m not sure the best way to describe Hairsine and his coworker’s art, except maybe to say that it has a slight anime flare to it. Nevertheless, it kept a rather darker tone to go with the slightly darker tone of this book, but still gave quite a bit of detail. Still, very well done by all involved.