Story: Tony Bedard
Pencils: Paul Pelletier

Synopsis & Review by Sean Mills. Thanks!:
Synopsis: The issue opens with Beak explaining the basic premise of the story while telling his own back-story. He talks about mutants, his own experience being recruited to Xavier’s school, Xorn’s Special Class, his love with Angel and their kids, and finally his adventures with the Exiles. But all of that is over now; he’s going home, except that they can’t find his reality. Heather Hudson and the bugs have fund his reality, the normal 616 Marvel Universe, but it won’t show up on screen. They can teleport in blind and see for themselves though.

Meanwhile, the rest of the team are kind of just hanging around the Crystal Palace. Morph chats with Sabretooth, making a joke about what happened to the good old days when they were all told what to do. Sabretooth is glad that they ended those days, and he thinks that after they drop off Beak that they should go around and take everyone back to their own realities. Morph brings up the point that they still need to save the other realities that the Timebreakers messed up, and besides, he says that Sabretooth just wants to get Mimic home because he doesn’t approve of Cal for his little girl Blink. But Sabretooth isn’t worried about that, not with Mimic’s state nowadays.

In the infirmary, Blink and Mimic are trying to cure him of his Deadpool curse. Last issue, in order to heal himself, Mimic copied Deadpool’s healing factor but was stuck with that horrible skin condition Deadpool has where he looks like ground meat. Blink is finding it hard to even look at her boyfriend as he tries to copy her powers, replacing Deadpool’s with Blink’s. It isn’t working, however. Usually he can choose which powers he gives up to mimic a new one, but Deadpool’s curse isn’t letting go. Mimic theorizes that it’s such a powerful healing factor that it’s resisting his will, as it would fight a disease.

Blink suggests they use the regenerative serum they got from Dr. Connors, but Mimic surmises that even if they use it to clear up his skin the curse might just come back. They only have one dose of the serum and he doesn’t want to waste it. If worst comes to worst, of course, he could just copy Morph’s power and shape shift back to his usual self. Blink is insistent that they cure this for real; Calvin tells her that it doesn’t hurt and theorizes that that might not be the real problem…Blink says that he can call her shallow all he wants, but if she grew snakes for hair or smelled like rotten meat then he’d want her cured as well. Mimic relents, but then they’re called to the excursion platform. Mimic says that they should take Beak home first and worry about him later; as long as they’re together it’ll be okay…

Once the Exiles are gathered, and Morph turns into the elephant man to make fun of Mimic, Heather explains that the Timebreakers have re-hinged Beak back in sync with his reality. They can’t see Earth 616, but they can guarantee that they can send the Exiles in without placing them in a block of granite or something like that. Blink wonders why this reality has been so troublesome and Beak offers them that they don’t have to come. Mimic, however, insists that they wouldn’t let him go alone into the great unknown and they’re off!

The Exiles arrive and all of them promptly throw up. Without the Timebreaker’s running the machine, the teleport is a lot different from what they’ve all been used to. Mimic recommends that they move in case their arrival warranted unwanted attention. But as they look around, everything is fine. They landed in the middle of Central Park right next to the big Sentinel Head monument to Magneto’s battle against humanity and they are surrounded by tons of mutants! This is the House of M where mutants are the dominant species and Magneto rules the world.

The Exiles read the plaque on the Sentinel Head to get a basic understanding of the House of M while Beak is simply dumbstruck at how much his world has changed. Sabretooth asks Heather to check out if she can find why history has changed, but she can’t promise anything. Some time later, they have found a newspaper stand and Mimic reads up on what’s happening, explaining to everyone about ‘sapiens’ and the House of M. Beak doesn’t care; he just wants to find Angel and his kids.

A pair of Magneto’s fancy Sentinels coming flying down the road and the Exiles panic, but Mimic quickly notices that no one else is panicked. They settle down and realize that the Sentinels are good and Sabretooth suggests that perhaps this is the first reality they’ve ever visited that things have actually improved rather than gotten worse. But first, Beak sees something up above! It’s a giant billboard with Angel on it! She’s beautiful and half-naked, advertising a pair of cutesy jeans! Beak is so shocked to see her like that, but Blink suggests that perhaps it means she’s doing well for herself. They’ll check Xavier’s and try to find her. Beak is comforted, thinking perhaps that she did the modeling thing to feed the kids, she wouldn’t have moved on to someone else right? The Exiles are less than reassuring.

That night in downtown, an extremely large bouncer is turning sapiens away at the club Genome. Angel shows up and flirts with him, the two obviously used to bantering playfully with each other as she goes in. Angel dances and parties all night long while some seedy looking mutant watches her. She flirts with the bouncer, Blunderbuss, again and he warns her to be safe as he’s reading the paper. He also warns the guy who’s following Angel. When Blunderbuss notices an article in the paper about Mutant X, Scotland’s infamous serial killer who leaves bodies desiccated.

Suddenly he realizes that the guy following Angel had a Scottish accent and he drops in front of him in an alley, warning the mutant that he picked the wrong girl. His arms shift into giant guns and he blasts Mutant X, who doesn’t seem afraid at all. In fact, when the smoke clears, he’s still standing only his body has become a desiccated corpse. Blunderbuss screams as Mutant X invades his body, taking control.

Outside of her hotel, Angel rubs her face as she’s too tired to deal with the fan who is waiting for her. She tells him no autographs, and that he should just go home. But that fan is Beak, who has tracked her down and he asks who is watching the kids while she’s out at 3am. Angel gets into his face, not about to take that kind of sass from some punk ugly mutant. Beak protests that he’s been looking for her all day, and that Xavier’s is gone. He wants to know what happened, if the kids are all right. She asks what kids, and is disgusted by the idea that she’d ever knock boots with him. The doorman interrupts and Angel tells him to call the cops to take care of the stalker. Beak is heartbroken.

When Angel reaches her apartment, she has a visitor. Blunderbuss is hiding in the dark and he talks about how one would think he’d last longer than the others, being how big and tough he is, but he’s worn out already. You can never tell which ones will give out. She’s scared and assures him that they’re just friends, right? Mutant X tells her that Blunderbuss knew, that he loved her like a sister, but he’s dead now and she’s about to be.

When Beak gets back to the Exiles, he tells them that they have to fix the world! They have to get his kids back! Sabretooth figures he’d want the same thing if he were in Beak’s shoes, if his entire world had changed, but he’s not sure that it’s their call. Mimic agrees, that if this world was meant to change, it’s not their place to change it back. Beak doesn’t care; he’s going to find a way.

But up above, now in the body of a supermodel, Mutant X is watching the Exiles curiously. He can tell that there’s something special about them and he’s going to find out what!

Review: This issue was okay. It’s always fun when the Exiles go to the normal Marvel universe and it’s cool to see them in the House of M, but it’s not too amazing. The story, at least, takes good advantage of the House of M and it’s cool to see Angel as a super model. She is hot and Beak comes off as a hilarious loser when he’s just so crazy sure that she’ll remember him. Of course, he has no reason why she wouldn’t. So it’s a little too bad that the Exiles won’t actually interact with anyone important, but I suppose that’s okay. They have their own little niche and it should be good. I like how they’re taking advantage of that idea that everyone who was ever dead has come back, like Proteus. I hope that’s explained at some point.

My number one complaint is that no one seems to care at all about TJ! Surely they remember that she was left behind on this world, but nobody mentions her at all. Why is that? I mean, was it an editorial thing? Since she’s going to be a member of the New Excalibur should they just ignore the Exiles connection? They can go back and get her at anytime now and take her home…but that can’t happen because then she won’t be in New Excalibur. So are they just going to ignore it? Granted the Exiles will have a big crazy World Tour coming up, but still, I think it should be explained. They should care about her.

The art is okay, the new guy draws a nice Blink and Beak and he seems to be able to handle Morph’s transformations very well, including a funny one into Comic Book Guy. Calvin’s new affliction is also done well; we can really tell it’s a chunky kind of meaty look. It sucks though that Cal has to look like that. As a fan boy who loves Mimic, I’m always a bit miffed when they mess him up like that. Heheh, oh well. Good issue, good start, and I’ll still be tuning in!

I am worried, however, that Calvin’s days are limited. The endnotes in this issue, with preview images, announce that soon some Exiles will be leaving and more will be joining as the team is forced to chase Mutant X through all the different realities. There’s one image where Mimic is fighting Sabretooth, and then one where Mimic’s hand is sticking out of some rubble, and then on the 2099 cover he’s either gone from a goatee to stubble or he’s been replaced by a new normal looking white guy. So honestly, my prediction is that Proteus will inhabit Mimic’s body and that’s why they have to chase him across the realities. I mean, it will be sad because Mimic is my favorite character and the reason I read this book, but I guess I’ll just have to suck it up and deal. Alas.